When Stars Cry
by The Silver Princess
Summary: **COMPLETE** Sailor Cosmos must fight the final battle to destroy the ultimate evil...but what price will the light of hope pay?
1. Star of Loneliness

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**DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon and other characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi, the queen of all that is manga. None of these characters belong to me. ** 

Author's Notes: Konnichiwa, minna-chan. I've always thought that Sailor Cosmos is one of the most mysterious, poignant, beautiful characters ever created. If you haven't read a translation of her appearance, do it. She's incredible. Because we don't get to find out much about Sailor Cosmos, I decided to write about her myself. Please send some feedback or review! I love getting your comments, and I will consider any suggestions that you have. After all, I am writing this for you, and I do want you to like it. Enjoy reading! 

Rating: PG

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"What is to give light must endure the burning."

~ Viktor E. Frankl ~

When Stars Cry

by: The Silver Princess

The quill scratched across the heavy cream paper, the feather bobbing lightly from the movement, tickling against her soft skin. Her slim hand traced the graceful cursive of her letters, delighting in the feel of the old-fashioned writing tool. Absently adjust her cape with one hand, she blotted the nub on a spare piece of paper with her other and began to write again, the scritch scratch sound loud in the heavy silence that only her breathing also occupied.

'The heart is filled with many nuances that even after all my years I have yet to fathom. Can I distinguish the difference between delicacy and vulnerability, hardness and fortitude? What is the feeling heart? Mine is a paradox molded in beating flesh, fragile and strong. Sometimes I know not whether I hate or love myself for those complexities; they cause such pain, and yet I do not fully understand it. I still do not know who I am despite the length of time I have had to learn and discover…Then again, at other times, I am grateful, and I do not want to know myself too intimately for fear of greater pain.'

She paused as her quill ran out of ink. As she moved to dip her pen into the pot of ink, she looked up from her journal. Her violet eyes stared wistfully into blank space, blind to the bare crystal wall in front of her. Smiling faintly, she remembered the animated debates she had had with her husband over a similar subject: her name and his. She was Serenity, but she was also Usagi, his Usako. She had always been the rabbit, the bouncing bunny, yet now she was Queen, and surely, Serenity was far more appropriate to go by. 

She remembered how they would tease each other, calling the other by the name currently disfavored. One month, she had vowed to always be Tsukino Usagi as her current incarnation had originally been named, and he had quirked a familiar grin and had murmured in that deep, husky voice traced with mischief, "Of course, my dear, darling Serenity." It had been an ongoing joke between them. Serenity, Usako. Endymion, Mamo-chan.

A tear slipped down her cheek, slow and salty, a small diamond glimmering on her smooth, white face. She reluctantly wiped the tear away, the moisture clinging to her fingertips. That good-natured teasing was gone, vanished like a wisp of swirling dust dispersed on the heartless wind. She closed her eyes wearily before returning to her journal with a sigh.

'So many memories have blurred together. If the question were ever posed about a specific event with him, I probably could not answer. There was just happiness; I did not bother to separate it with details. Yet, if asked about him, I could talk for hours. I remember every detail of him. I remember the way he would kiss the breath out of me and the way his eyebrow would arch at me when I said something amusingly unexpected. I can still feel the scruffiness of his unshaved face during those busy first years. The warmth of his breath as he pressed his face into my hair and moved against me and inside me.

'I remember the way we would lie in bed together, content just to be breathing in rhythm with each other. And then his arm would snake around my waist, and I would giggle, snuggling closer. He would kiss the nape of my neck with tiny butterfly pecks, and his fingers would twine in my long silken hair. I could feel his smile even though I could not see him, and then he would tease me, playfully asking if I were planning on a new color for the next day. 

'That was near the end, when our daughter was nearly of age and preparing to assume the throne and when my hair was changing color for a second time. I had begun my long life with sunbright tresses, golden and riotous. When I became Queen, my appearance claimed my birthright, and my hair changed into regal silver, the same exquisite color as moonshine. However, as Small Lady was preparing to accept her birthright, I was the one changing. All agreed in some confusion that my hair was becoming more white than silver. He, of course, pounced on the opportunity this afforded him.

'Our marriage was full of loving banter, reminiscent of our first meetings. The emotion that had characterized our verbal barbs had not been hatred but excitement. It had been thrilling to devise clever retorts in their spoken battle, knowing that there would never be a victor only a fun-loving bond that would continue to grow between us. That entertaining pastime had continued through our lives, often lifting royal pressures from shoulders, especially mine.

'I love him so much.'

She laid the quill down as she stared desolately at her words. Another tear ran down her face, her nose this time. It hung at the tip, dangling uncertainly, before falling with a faint plop. The moisture blurred the ink, distorting the word 'lives' into a circle of fuzzy black.

She leaned back in her chair as she closed the book with a muffled thump. In her life that seemed so long ago, she'd never written journals. She was too gregarious a creature to bother spilling herself to something unresponsive and seemingly pointless, but now…she had to release her heavy thoughts somewhere lest they drive her mad in her solitude.

She waved her hand over the book, vanishing it to a place that could only be termed to a magical pocket. It was the same place she kept her weapons and her other valuables, mostly pictures and the old memories they evoked. She kept it all there except her crystal. That she set aside inside herself, dissolved in her blood and heart. It ran through her veins and lived in her muscle, impossible to steal yet ready to crystallize into a more potent form at her slightest thought. It had gone by many names the Silver Imperium Crystal, Imperial Millennium Crystal, the Silver Crystal, and more recently but less famously called the Cosmos Crystal. It was her lifeblood and her power, her blessing and her curse.

She stood up, and the sound of her shoes on the crystalline floor echoed loudly in the deserted palace. Here she was, the most powerful being in all the universe and the protectress of it all, and yet she was completely alone, unable to be with those she loved more than anything.

The light of the rising sun slanted in through the window, setting the faceted crystal walls ablaze with radiance. The light lit blazes in her hair, turning it into a white-hot waterfall of fire. She squinted through the window, watching the rose and peach tendrils creep into the dark night blue, lightening it into daytime azure. She turned her head away. She had held her baby daughter for the first time during a sunrise much like this so long ago. 

She refused to look again at the window, knowing that the sun would no longer blind her eyes to the barren destruction surrounding the palace. Memories, closer to the present this time, welled inside her like bile. The ravaged wasteland had once been a utopia, but now, it was nothing more than crumbling, skeletal buildings with their empty, dark windows like accusing eyes and gaping holes pitted in the land like deep wounds in the earth itself. The once pure air hung heavy and acrid with smoke and rotting flesh, and the wind no longer wished to blow over the shattered remains. Silence and blood reigned where once love had.

Her hair floated around her face as she shook her head forcefully, banishing those useless thoughts. With a thought, she used her magic to materialize in a small room. She could have walked, but she didn't think that she could bear the oppressive silence she would invade if she used the halls.

It was a simple room, lacking the ornate beauty of the other parts of the palace. It was paneled with polished wood, and the thick carpets concealed the crystal floor. It was incongruous with the majesty on the other side of its walls, but it was meant to be more cozy and homelike. This is where she laid her loved ones, to sleep in comfort without the trappings of royal duty.

The coffins were carved in shimmering glass like the fairy-tale tomb of Snow-White, an image that perhaps she had chosen unconsciously, secretly believing they would one day wake as the enchanted princess had. There were too many for the small room to hold comfortably, but she was the only one who ever visited so she managed, not wishing to disturb their rest.

She drifted among the forest of coffins, her fingers brushing over the glass. Her face was outwardly serene. She no longer cried or tried to speak to them; she had shed her heartbroken tears long ago until her eyes had burned, and she had said all the fruitless words her lips could bear. She had wailed and screamed until the entire city had reverberated with her grief, but when her voice had finally broken with hoarseness, nothing was changed. Her heart had died not long after they had, and now she was a bleached white ghost among the departed dead. White hair, white skin, white clothes. A remnant of happier times.

Only her eyes betrayed her; those wide-eyed pools that showed emotion in a way that she still could not contain. Every tear she had ever cried reflected in those brokenhearted eyes, and still her face was calm. Her grief was a hidden web woven inextricably around her soul, binding and paining her with every moment of consciousness.

Her senshi: her wonderful, beloved senshi who were more like sisters than just friends to her. Each face slept calm and motionless, unresponsive to her presence as they had always been since they had fallen. But no matter how much she thought of them in sleep and rest, they were still just as dead. Dead. They had died because of her.

She paused at Sailor Mars's coffin and shook her head as she gazed down at her mystical friend. She sent a small flicker of power out, tidying the tousled raven locks. Even in death, the spiritual winds moved by Hino Rei, the psychic priestess and the Fire Senshi.

She approached the two coffins slightly raised at the back of the room. Her heart spasmed as she gazed down lovingly at the two faces. Her arms longed to hold them. She ached to shatter the flimsy glass barrier and to gather them into her arms and never let go. But she knew from thoughtless experience that their bodies would be cold and unresponsive and that her memories would grow too merciless and poignant to allow herself to continue holding what may as well be ragdolls. So she contented herself to gaze and wish.

Her reflection gleamed in the glass, making it appear as though she were beside them both, daughter and husband on each side. Her expression softened into an observable sorrow.

"I wonder if you would recognize me if you could see me now," she whispered mournfully. Her reflection only mouthed the words with her, and nothing else moved. She reached up with one hand to touch her odango—now heart-shaped to commemorate her lost loves. 

But it was her eyes that most disturbed her. All through her life—her lives, actually—she had had sparkling blue eyes, the color of a warm and cloudless summer sky. Princess Serenity, Usagi, Neo-Queen Serenity. Those bright sapphire eyes had been one of the few things that had remained consistent through it all. But now, they were violet. It was as though all the blood she had since seen had somehow seeped into her irises, staining the clear blue with redness. It scared her a little to see different eyes stare back at her.

Violet.

Would the blood ever wash from her soul?

She shook her head, turning away from her reflection. "It is time to go," she announced solemnly. "The battle must be resumed." She hesitated, turning back to face her darling daughter, her hair still bright cotton-candy pink. She had not lived to claim her silver-haired birthright. Suddenly, her mother found new words to say to the impassive bodies. "I have been a coward too long. I have shamed your sacrifices. I do not deserve you, but I will no longer fail you. I will fight again though my heart yearns for peace. Eternal Sailor Moon will again live anew inside me, inside her new form. Her lessons to me shall not go unheeded, and with that matchless strength, I shall fight what must be fought." 

She turned her gaze to Endymion. His black hair fell over his forehead, and she wished she could see his blue-gray eyes smile at her one more time. Then she turned to her senshi, the colored coffins bright like rainbowed gems. "I, Sailor Cosmos, swear this to you," she pledged, her voice echoing throughout the room before being swallowed by the carpets.

Her white hair swept over her cheeks as she bowed her head, conjuring a silver rose in her hands. Solemnly, she placed it in a half-filled vase, and the metal clinked against the crystal. She gazed at the masses of eternal roses scattered throughout the room in overcrowded vases, a veritable garden of undying flowers. Some were silvery buds; others were fully opened blooms that shone white-silver. It was a tradition that had lasted too long.

She pressed her fingertips to her lips and then touched the cold petals of her most recent rose. "The final battle approaches," she whispered as she stepped away. Then the star-shaped sigil on her forehead glowed, and she was gone, leaving only a falling twinkle of stardust.

**Well, that's all for now. Let me know if you think it's worth continuing. Ja ne!**


	2. Star of War

The room was as quiet and dark as a tomb

**DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon and other characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi, the queen of all that is manga. None of these characters belong to me. ** 

Author's Notes: Konnichiwa, minna-chan. Gomen nasai for the delay. Well, here's the new chapter. This explains some of Sailor Cosmos's history as I see it. This story is based on the manga and if you haven't read a translation of the last arc, do it! It's wonderful! 

Please send some feedback or review. I love getting your comments, and I will consider any suggestions that you have. After all, I am writing this for you, and I do want you to like it. Enjoy reading! 

Rating: PG-13

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"What is to give light must endure the burning."

~ Viktor E. Frankl ~

When Stars Cry

by: The Silver Princess

The room was as quiet and dark as a tomb. The air was stale and thick from abandonment, and unusual equipment loomed in the darkness like frozen ghosts, only a thin coating of dust serving to mark the passage of time. The room sat quietly outside the normal flows of space and time, a special offshoot of the Timegates. It waited, forgotten and neglected but secure in the knowledge that it would be reanimated eventually.

Glittering starlight burst in the center of the room like the birth of a miniature nova. A refreshing breeze emanated from the tiny explosion, and it swept through the equipment, disturbing the dust in tiny, cleaning whorls. The glitter dissipated, falling to the floor and twinkling into nothingness next to a few angelically white feathers that bobbed slowly, still unsettled by the wind currents. The last speck of glitter perished, and darkness began to encroach again inside the disturbed space.

Nearly lost in the growing blackness, pale, slender arms gestured gracefully, and white light diffused through the darkness like an unfurling blossom. Crystal shone with fresh vigor. Sailor Cosmos's violet eyes thoughtfully surveyed the illuminated room as she lowered her arms. The hard crystal glared back. She frowned and gestured again. She could not afford the distraction that decoration in the style of her collapsed Crystal Tokyo would provide. The crystal walls quivered and then reluctantly transformed into white marble in the classic style of the Silver Millenium, another fallen kingdom but far less accusatory to her mind. 

She looked to the side, and her hand moved to push against a smooth pane of glass. Her palm pressed against the surface, cold as ice, and a shiver ran through her arm.

The room sprang to life with the suddenness of a lightning bolt. Screens flickered into activity, and machines whirred, setting to work.

Her cape swirled around her slim body as she approached the controls. Dozens of images clamored for her attention. She rolled her eyes at the neediness of the inanimate and swept her hand through the air again. The noise quieted obediently, retreating like a scolded puppy.

She slid into the proffered seat and pressed a sad hand to her forehead. She shook her head, and her hair enveloped her in a nimbus of white. A tear dripped free of her eye. It should be Sailor Pluto sitting here.

She shook her head more vehemently and brushed her hair forcefully out of the way. It was useless to mourn at the expense of action. Her tiny face hardened, and her jaw set stubbornly.

"Well, let's see where you are now," she murmured. Her hands flew over the controls like darting white birds. Screens scrolled through data, and machinery sifted through input.

Her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits when the answer came back to her. "Hello, again," she whispered to the image frozen on the screen. Her eyes were like cold daggers as she stared at her archenemy.

She was a diminutive woman dressed in a fuku similar to Eternal Sailor Moon's. Her sleeves and the ruffles of her skirt were black, her body suit was vivid red, and a tiny skull was pinned at the center of the black bow. Her hair was like bright gold fuzz, shaved close to her skull, and her skin was as pale as Cosmos's. With vivid, sparkling blue eyes, her fuku seemed incongruous and silly. Even her face appeared sweet and lovely—but horribly familiar. Only the hard stones in her eyes and the steel claws fitted like gloves over her hands betrayed her. She was a cruel mockery of Cosmos's former self, a constant brutal reminder of her losses.

It had begun so long ago. Through the quirkiness of time-travel, her life had shuffled into a dizzying story. Sailor Moon of the twentieth century could defeat evil in the thirtieth, and her daughter could become a cousin mere years younger. Time travel created many peculiarities.

She had lived through the beginning twice. Once, she had been Eternal Sailor Moon and the strength of her hope had saved the universe. Now, she was Sailor Cosmos, the recently unmasked Sailor Chibi Chibi, who had essentially accomplished nothing. She had intended to stop this war before it had started but had discovered long-forgotten wisdom instead and had realized that the war was inevitable and eternal from whichever snapshot of time it was viewed. That did not make it hurt any less.

It was simpler to consider the blood-spattered path as she had lived it rather than chronologically. She, as Eternal Sailor Moon, had purified the Cauldron and had cast out the insidious evil of Chaos. Her subsequent reign as Neo-Queen Serenity had lulled her into a fatally false sense of peace and security. She had gradually disregarded the threat of the unleashed Chaos and the warning of her tiny friend, Sailor Chibi Chibi, herself. Blithe blindness had seeped into her sapphire eyes, and she had only seen the golden promise of peace on the eternal horizon. Pain had become a distant memory, and bright laughter had filled the halls. Even the brief menace of the Dark Moon and the temporary time distortion from the Sailor Wars against Sailor Galaxia could not wake her from the foolish fiction that she clung to so blindly. Complacency had masqueraded as peace.

War had come unexpectedly and brutally. She could recall the first strike with chilling, painful clarity. The hall had been filled with joyful happiness, and crowds had gathered to witness this exceptional event. The crown had been hovering above Small Lady's head, the moment of coronation imminent. She had felt as though she would burst with pride as she had watched her beaming daughter. The crown had come closer to those pink tresses, and mother and daughter's wide grins had matched. She watched intently, never wanting to forget a single detail of her child's moment of pride.

At first, she had barely understood what happened. Time had frozen, and she had wondered hazily what Pluto was up to. Then her heart had thudded against her ribcage with deafening loudness, and she had realized that this had been reality, that time had been flowing as normal. Then she did burst, not with pride, but with screams. Redness had soaked her daughter. Why was there blood on her baby? The screaming in her throat had refused to stop, and tears had flooded over her face. She had gazed at her child's beloved face, trying to rationalize what could not be happening. Her baby's eyes had stared back at her, as red as blood and as vacant as death. She had seen the specter of death floating in those blank, precious eyes. Then, cruel reality had exploded inside her. The screaming had been everywhere, and she had tried to rip her heart from her chest. She would have, had her companions not stopped her. She had raged and wept until her voice had grown hoarse and still her tears had inundated her. How could they torture her to stop her? How could a mother live when her child did not?

Crystal tears streaked slowly down her cheeks as her memories tormented her. Within the week, her husband had been killed. Within the month, Sailor Venus, Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Mars, Sailor Uranus, and Sailor Neptune had fallen. Another two weeks bled torturously by, and Sailor Pluto, Sailor Saturn, and Sailor Mercury had followed their fellow senshi. In less than two months, she had been left alone, and her grief—and her guilt—nearly had driven her mad. They had died for her—because of her. She had often screamed herself awake and had contemplated suicide.

War had settled into horrifying routine, and her kingdom had disintegrated into dark, barbaric chaos. She laughed bitterly at the irony, and her angry laugh grated against her nerves. Yes, her old nemesis Chaos had returned. Only now, that formless monster was incarnated in human form as Sailor Chaos. She was the embodiment of ultimate evil, the parent of every enemy. She was also indestructible and mercilessly bloodthirsty.

Sailor Cosmos had become the lonely fighter, alone on a vast, blood-soaked battlefield. Sailor Chaos had enjoyed tormenting her with carnage, and too often, Cosmos would arrive to late to save anyone. Wasteland would greet her. The ground would be soggy with blood, which often remained in puddles, the earth unable to accept more punishment. Ravaged bodies would pile over each other in enormous heaps. Frozen expressions of terror would greet her, accuse her. Tiny broken bodies would huddle in the arms of headless mothers, and savaged, gutted abdomens would gape like open caves. Limbs would sprawl, often disconnected from torsos. The blood would blot out every color. Her utopia had collapsed like the fanciful illusion it had been, and red butchery had become more common than green grass or blue sky.

Her eyes had turned violet as her heart had bled.

She had been standing in a large field that had once been a growing town, almost a city. Blood-sodden loam had squished beneath her boots, and the wind had whipped over the lonely, upright figure. Swarms of black flies had buzzed eagerly over the massacre, and there had been blood on the tips of her long white hair. She remembered falling to her knees, the saturated ground squelching beneath her. Crimson stickiness had clung to her, no longer warm but cold and thick.

Sailor Chaos had chuckled mockingly as she had gloried in the bloodbath. "Tired, my silly little friend?" she had questioned, and her voice had been as harsh as nails on a blackboard.

The stench of rotting flesh and acrid smoke had filled Cosmos's nostrils. Her tears had done little to dilute the bloodshed.

She recalled wondering how it had come to this. Blood had started to cake under her fingernails, and the cruel laughter had echoed in her ears, inescapable. Gold fuzz had shined in the sunlight, and hard, sapphire eyes had watched her misery like a hungry hawk. She remembered how her forehead creased, how she bit her lip, as she tried to dredge up the vital memory. Her eyes had widened as the vague recollection of the battle at Zero Star Sagittarius surfaced. There. There had been the seed of this horrendous, bloody war. She had loosed Chaos from the Cauldron instead of destroying both while they were inextricably bound.

"What is your devious little mind thinking?" Chaos had demanded as she had ripped flesh from a thighbone with her teeth as though it were a chicken drumstick. Blood had smeared on that hateful face. There had been no fear in her question; she had been secure in her knowledge of Cosmos's frustrating powerlessness. 

Cosmos had immediately teleported away, her mind pondering over an idea. Chaos's sinister laughter had followed her, goading her forward. The fire of the idea had lit inside her.

Her memories had clarified as she had concentrated. A glimmer of a smile had twitched at her lips. It just might work. Usagi had been alone and grief-stricken, just like Cosmos. She toiled for hours, perfecting the scheme. She could not travel as herself: the laws of time travel prohibited the dual existence of the same person. A spark of a memory had tickled at the edges of her mind. The little girl, the one who pretended to be her sister…didn't she change when they reached the Cauldron? Her eyes had flashed thoughtfully. Chibi Chibi had transformed into a beautiful, mysterious woman—whom she know could recognize as herself. She had gritted her teeth in determination. Very well, the adorable, redheaded toddler would be her disguise, but she would not fail this time around.

It had been simple, almost a relief to change herself into a tiny child. Her smiles had come quicker, and her heart had lightened. Of course, that could have been due to her return to twentieth century Tokyo. Life had nurtured some joy for her again. The sweet innocence of Usagi had touched her, reminding her how much her daughter had resembled her at the same age. She had easily disregarded Usagi as her past self and had grown to think of her—herself—as another daughter.

But when the crucial time had come and she had tried to convince Eternal Sailor Moon to destroy the Cauldron, her past self had not conceded. Instead, she—the stubborn innocent that she was—had imparted her wisdom, and Cosmos had been struck with the power of Eternal Sailor Moon's words. She had transformed and had stepped aside, letting history, destiny, run its inevitable course. 

She had failed in her goal, that was true, but she had gained so much more. When the impact of those unwavering, hopeful words had hit her, a new, long-forgotten strength and determination had coursed through her as though she had been regiven life. After Eternal Sailor Moon's sacrifice, Cosmos had stayed long enough to reassure the Sailor Quartet, and then she had flown away, departing for the future. Her eyes had glistened with rekindled power and renewed love.

The war was not over yet.

Her eyes locked onto the space-time coordinates next to the image, and she stood up, her cape vanishing to be replaced by large, downy, white wings. She folded her wings protectively around her body, shrouding herself in feathers.

"This time, _I_ am coming for _you_, Sailor Chaos."

Her voice echoed in the empty room as she disappeared.

**Gomen nasai for the delay in posting, minna-chan, but summer vacation traveling made things a trifle difficult. So, FYI: I'm going to be gone all July, and I won't get to posting anything until August. Sayonara 'til then when we get past these memories and into the action!**


	3. Star of Sacrifice

**DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon and other characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi, the queen of all that is manga. None of these characters belong to me. ** 

Rating: PG

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"What is to give light must endure the burning."

~ Viktor E. Frankel ~

When Stars Cry

by: The Silver Princess

Sun-drenched crystal gleamed cheerfully, winking at distant travelers who carefully wove their way towards the growing city. Bright light ran along the polished surfaces, igniting it into sheets of white-fire origami. A distant _clink, clink _sounded through the blue air like a tiny orchestra tuning its percussion. The cool breezes smelled of flowers and just-past rain—a clean scent of dust and grime having been washed away. The royal garden was just blossoming with the first veil of green spring, a tiny jewel-bright buds were peeking into the new world.

A sudden squeal of laughter pealed through branches, echoing off the crystal walls, and the sound was quickly followed by a darting slim figure in white. She dashed through the trees, silvery gold hair flapping in the breeze. Her gown streamed out behind her. She slipped around the largest trunk and pressed herself against the bark, giggling softly.

She paused in her glee momentarily and tilted her head thoughtfully to one side. Her forehead crinkled, and her face took on the look of intense concentration as though she were listening to something very faint, very distant.

"Now where can my darling wife have run off to?"

The voice broke her concentration, and she returned her attention to her game and giggled softly. He padded lightly towards the sound like a panther approaching its prey.

"Ha!" he cried, leaping around the tree. She squeaked breathlessly and turned to run away, but he caught her around the waist and lifted her into his arms. She immediately ceased her struggles, and they smiled at each other in perfect contentment as he sat against the tree, still holding her in his arms.

She rested her head on his shoulder. "You're face is getting scruffy, Mamo-chan" she noted.

"Too busy," he replied, kissing her forehead. "But not as busy as you I've noticed."

She squirmed sheepishly.

"Usako, you need to get more sleep," he said. His voice was relaxed, but an undertone of worry was laced throughout.

"I never thought I'd hear someone tell me that."

"Usako, you expend all your energy all day, get to bed after midnight, and then wake me up shrieking that you're late when you've only slept a few hours."

"That's what I did while I was Sailor Moon," she pouted.

"Yes, but you weren't pregnant then."

She smiled softly, resting her hand over her abdomen. "She's fine. I can tell."

"I just worry about you, Odango. This is the first I've seen you in days. You're always running around," he explained, covering her hand with his larger one.

She looked at him lovingly, and then stopped his words with a long, tender kiss. They parted and leaned their foreheads against each other's. "I'll try," she conceded. "But I'm not promising anything."

He grinned cheerfully.

"Ai!" she yelped suddenly, sitting up in his embrace and trying to squirm away. "I've got to go. I still have things to do!"

He stood up and deposited her upright on the ground, keeping his hands around her waist to prevent her from bolting. "I'll come with you," he said. A strange look crossed his face suddenly, and he glanced in the direction she had tilted her head towards earlier.

But his tiny wife quickly reclaimed his attention. Her face lit up with a smile like a lightbulb, and she cheered, "Okay!" She grabbed his hand and began to drag him towards the door to the half-completed palace.

"So tell me again. Why are you going gray?" he asked mischievously as she tugged him inside.

"Mamoru-baka! Silver, not gray! It's my royal birthright. I am becoming queen in every sense," she exclaimed, her voice wavering between indignant and haughty.

He chuckled, and they disappeared through the hallway.

Wiping silent, crystalline tears from her cheeks, Sailor Cosmos stepped from the shadows that had cloaked her from their sight. Not knowing how long her stay in the past would last, she had disguised herself again, this time as a curly-haired, freckled redhead.

"What are you doing here, Chaos?" she asked the silent air.

She felt something dark bubble from the nether behind her, and then a cold hand like corpse's slithered over her shoulder to clasp her neck. Cosmos stiffened defensively, and her disguise melted away.

"You called?" Sailor Chaos asked, her voice a glacial mockery of the warm one she had heard minutes earlier.

"Why are you here, Chaos?" Cosmos repeated, refusing to rise to the bait and turn around.

"You've gotten so boring," Chaos answered as her steel claws pricked into her neck. "I can still have fun here."

Cosmos's eyes widened. "You—"

"No, I'm not going to mess with the Timestream," Chaos snapped irritably. "Honestly," she added as she circled in front to face Cosmos, "You have no imagination."

"But—"

"Didn't hurt to see them so happy?" she hissed, leaning close to Cosmos's face. "Didn't you weep like a weak child when you saw what you'd lost?" She leaned in closer, and to an outsider, their position may have looked like sisterly embrace. Cosmos trembled with effort not to lash out at her. "Didn't your heart break all over again? You wanted to die when you saw them kiss. I know that that insidious little thought ran through your brainless little head right at that moment." Her tongue snaked out like a slick serpent to lick away the tear that had dripped down Cosmos's cheek. "See? So fun."

"Besides," she continued, straightening up, her manner shifting entirely. "Just about everyone's dead now. Even on the other planets, in other solar systems and galaxies." She waved her hand flippantly and shrugged.

Cosmos's body stiffened as she realized what Chaos had said. Everyone . . . While she was gone . . .

Chaos' eyes widened in mock surprise. "Oh, didn't you know that I was keeping while you were gone?" Her lips pulled back, baring her teeth in a feral grin. "But there's still fodder to feed on here," she said, clapping her hands and rubbing them together eagerly. "I'm sure the odd child going missing will cause no great disruption. What do you think? I could cause a panic, a riot. Sometimes fear is just as fun as murder."

With swiftness that startled even her, Cosmos grabbed her by the throat, and Chaos's blue eyes widened in genuine surprise this time. "I'll stop you," Cosmos hissed, violet eyes glaring.

Chaos cleared her throat and wrapped her fingers around Cosmos's wrist. "Because you've done such a good job of stopping so far," she mocked. Her hand tightened her grip painfully and ripped Cosmos's hand from her throat. "You stupid girl. You don't understand what game you're playing in. The rules are far above your head. You don't even know who the players are."

"I will stop you," she repeated, lacing iron into her tone.

Chaos shrugged indifferently and stepped back to regard her. Her gaze sharpened as she watched her conjure her slender ivory staff. Light pulsed from the star atop the staff as Cosmos readied the crystal within her to be called instantly. Chaos bared her teeth in an exhilarated, wild grin. "Let's go a round, shall we?" she challenged, rubbing her hands together gleefully.

Cosmos twirled her staff in response, tilting it towards her laughing nemesis. "Not here," she answered calmly.

"My dear, you're fighting a defensive war—badly—but you are. You don't get to pick the battleground. I, the aggressor, choose."

"What are you—" Cosmos broke off in the middle of her question to bring her staff down at Sailor Chaos. She spoke a simple command before her opponent could respond.

Starry glitter exploded around the two Sailor Senshi, and Cosmos allowed herself a small smile as she and Chaos were pulled out of the garden and into the Timestream. She could remember finding the white feathers, thinking they were from some large soaring bird, and weaving them into her hair. Mamo-chan would quirk his eyebrow at her antics.

The return to normal time jarred her, and she stumbled at the landing, dropping her staff. Her eyes focused on the brown crisps of grass as she retrieved her ivory staff. This was her time again.

Sailor Chaos let loose a deafening roar of bloodlusting rage as she realized where Cosmos had returned her. Her voice rocketed over the barren landscape, shattering already broken crystal and annihilating already dead organic matter. The sky blackened.

"You bitch!" she snarled, striding forward, and with the speed of a striking snake, she grabbed Cosmos by her white hair and pulled her to the ground. She yanked her head up and then smashed her face against the ground. "I wanted blood!" She kicked Cosmos in her chest, sending her flying into a pile of rubble. "Give me your blood!" she screamed, and she stabbed her claws into Cosmos's stomach.

Sailor Cosmos gasped as her body curled around the sudden piercing pain. Chaos laughed and withdrew her hand, licking the gleaming crimson blood from her claws. "You taste of power," she grinned. "You taste of pain carried inside you. I want the blood; I want that pain!"

Cosmos gripped her staff tightly. She raised it and then brought around hard into Chaos's ribcage. Air rushed out of her lungs as she stumbled backwards. "Why don't you try your own?" Cosmos snapped.

She raised her empty hand, and the Cosmos Crystal blazed into quicksilver life in her palm. The brilliant light washed over the area, veiling the destruction and blasting at Sailor Chaos. Her cape flickered in the backwash of power as she channeled the light at her nemesis.

A sudden cry cut through the blasting of magic, and Cosmos quickly let her power fade, and the crystal subsided to pulse quiescently in her hand. She screamed as she saw her archenemy's response to her attack.

Chaos held a tiny boy, perhaps six years old, against her leg. As though she were about to pick up a melon, her steel claws were fitted carefully around his skull, ready to pierce. His blue-gray eyes were wide and streaming water—he was too frightened to blink.

"I told you I wanted blood," she sneered merrily.

Cosmos wracked her brain for a diversion, for a tactic, for anything as though stormcloud eyes stared at her beseechingly.

Chaos knelt next to the child. "Now say hello," she demanded.

The child's chest moved rapidly as he hyperventilated.

"Say it!" she barked, scraping her claws just slightly over his forehead. Blood welled up as he quavered, "Konnichiwa."

"This is practice for you!" Cosmos yelled suddenly.

"Nani?"

"Um," she licked her lips nervously, "You…you're Chaos…I mean, you're the worst. So this has to be practice before you return to destroy the entire universe and all the timelines, just everything, right? So, um, um…"

"Do you have point? Or else, little Atsuhiro here will feel five of mine." The boy whimpered as she dug her claws in deeper.

"I am the guardian of the entire universe and of Time in Pluto's place. Leave him alone, and we'll fight, and I won't run or anything. It'll be to the death," she improvised frantically.

Chaos's hand tightened like a vise, the sharp points plunging into his head. He screamed. Cosmos screamed. Chaos laughed. She twisted the head from the body and then tossed him aside like a limp doll, and he hit with a sound like meat plopping into a pan. "Let's fight anyway, " she chuckled as cracked the skull open to examine the soggy brains inside.

Cosmos sank to her knees and wept, trying to block out the crunching noise. Her heart thudded dully in her chest as she breathed through her tears. In and out. Her heart clenched, unclenched. Why was she still living?

"Feeling alone are you? So lonely and miserable," Chaos's mocking voice rang near her ear. Her hand, sticky with blood raised her chin up. "Open your eyes, sweetie," she snapped.

Cosmos slowly opened her eyes and found herself facing those blue-gray eyes. They stared at her in hurt, confused, accusation. As Chaos stepped away and plucked the eyeballs from their sockets, Cosmos turned to one side and vomited. She tried to rub away the blood that Chaos had streaked across her cheek, but it clung to her tenaciously, a badge of pain and guilt.

"Are you ready to fight now? I know a barely dead garden we can destroy in the process," Chaos chortled.

Cosmos nodded listlessly. _Your fault, your fault! _voices chanted her.

"No," she murmured.

"Well, what is it: yes or no?" Chaos asked impatiently.

She gripped her crystal; she had nearly forgotten she still held it. This was the same crystal she had always wielded. It had vanquished foe after foe. Eternal Sailor Moon had used to stop Chaos before. Somehow, she had; she could do it again. Every time that she faced Chaos, there was mockery, taunts, painful barbs. Chaos sought to disconnect her from…from what was it again?

Hope.

The light had shone on her face as she descended into the Cauldron. Hope her heart had sung. Hope!

A blaze of strength welled up inside her. Yes! She was the one who had sought out Chaos this time. She would be the attacker; she would defeat her.

You promised them all that you would do this. So do it!

Her mouth moved silently as she repeated words that had sustained her so many times. _Whenever I feel crushed, I always remember I have the light in my heart._ She placed her hand and her crystal over her heart, letting the love that was so painful to remember overflow.

She rose to her feet and twirled her staff in whirlwind of motion, lashing out with a nameless attack.

Sailor Chaos was buffeted high into the sky on the just of bright energy, her shriek of anger and surprise grating through the desolate space.

Sailor Cosmos launched herself upward, soaring towards her nemesis and unleashing another bolt of white lightning.

The battle raged onward, ever higher, as the respective blasts of darkness and light drove the opponents further and further from the earth.

Cosmos hurtled past Pluto's dead surface, cold and ice-gripped, and her staff pulsed with white light. "Cosmos Radiant Starfire!" she cried.

The beam of balefire impacted against Chaos's chest, and she tumbled backwards as a patch of her mortal body disintegrated to reveal roiling blackness before she healed herself.

Cosmos streaked forward, pouncing upon Chaos. Her slender white staff clashed against the curved blade that Chaos had conjured. She spun bringing her rod around into Chaos's ribs before flipping it downwards to hammer at her knees. The sword grazed against her side with poisonous fire as danced away.

As they continued to float backwards, carried by their momentum, the battle continued unabated. Days must have passed as they harried one another, sometimes sending blasts of power from afar, sometimes grappling with staff and sword. Cosmos's home solar system was left far behind, and soon only velvet darkness and the dust of glimmering stars surrounded them.

Finally, Cosmos knew the moment had come. Her body was as prepared as it could be for the ultimate immersion.

With a thought, the Cosmos Crystal unfurled itself, blazing like a captured sun, and she embraced its power to the fullest, regardless of the effect it would have on her body. Her mind merged with the power, completely losing herself within the light.

She sank to her knees, clutching her head between her legs as her mind shuddered. Somewhere in the back of her brain, she realized this would pass, that she must wait it out: she had after all only done this once before at the founding of Crystal Tokyo. But her mind would not heed the small voice, and she screamed.

Every voice of every person who had ever lived was yelling inside her, each demanding her immediate attention, each burdening her with his or her pain and suffering. It felt like someone driving nails into her brain, splitting her head apart with too much, too much. Eyes that were not physical saw the battles that had raged throughout the entire universe, the specter of Chaos hovering over and goading it all. Senses that were not her own felt the fabric of space and time shuddering as it soaked in blood, felt the stars and their planets cry. She knew the dark, unnatural blight that was the slim blue-eyed woman before her.

For an eternal instant, Sailor Cosmos was the cosmos, and the pain of that burden shrieked through her with pounding, compelling force. Her throat felt raw with her unending scream.

Finally, she stopped screaming and opened her eyes, the painful moment past and time normal once more. The voices and the people no longer demanded her awareness with their vociferous clamors. She looked down at her fingertips, gazing in awe at the luminous white glow radiating from every pore of her skin. She had the strange instinct that if she touched a normal human they would burn to death. Her eyes burned so brightly that any color was washed away. The Cosmos Crystal purred inside her, floating like a lotus blossom before her chest.

"Are you finished yet?" Chaos inquired sarcastically. "Really, those were impressive fireworks."

Dark power blasted towards her, and Cosmos immediately threw up her hands, palms outward and fingers spread. A shining barrier sprang into existence at her command, and it deflected the enemy magic away from its head-on course to stream around her sides, leaving her unscathed.

Chaos laughed. "Ooh, got quicker reflexes that time, lightbulb?"

Cosmos did not even deign to respond. She cupped her hands in front of her, calling forth the power inside her. The white glow brightened into a dazzling ball that soon grew into a raw, raging firestorm contained between her palms. Rays of blazing light shone from the spaces between her fingers until the power swelled and slammed within the confines of her hands.

Arms shot forward, wrists bent backwards, and fingers sprang open, exposing the firestorm to Chaos. Cosmos roared furiously as she flew forward and channeled the power relentlessly at the small woman, waiting with arched eyebrows.

Opposing powers, more powerful than any she had attempted to control in a battle, shot hostilely through each other and clashed with claps of thunder, threatening to shred apart her very identity. Her white power and her black danced together like a cat's stripes, neither gaining the advantage. She bit her lip until it bled, tenaciously refusing to slacken the blast that she was directing.

Cosmos whimpered as she felt the power flowing from her begin to falter and then ebb. The blaze shooting from her hands guttered feebly before it retreated ashamedly into a small cringing globe revolving between her palms and no longer blasting at Choas.

The familiar laughter welled up around her, and Cosmos winced.

"Satisfied, little friend?"

"I won't give up!" she screamed with fiery, determined strength, fueling the power with her desperation and fury, her love and her pain. The firestorm sprang up again, raging between her hands, over her arms, through the tips of her hair, enveloping her in a sphere of power. Her magic roared ferociously, a combination of thunderous balefire and fierce snarls, but she knew instinctively that it would not defeat Chaos.

She let the light fade back into calmness, and in that moment, a burst of clarity descended on her like a sudden drenching of cold water.

"I understand," she murmured.

Chaos stared at her with an expression she had never seen before, neither gleeful nor furious, but grim.

"The players. The game. It was right in front of me." Cosmos spoke in whispers more to herself than to Chaos. "Ultimate evil. Ultimate good. Neither can be destroyed. They are eternal. No light without shadow. No good without bad." She gasped, a sound of joy, and stared at her hands as though she had never seen them before. She knew what to do. It truly would be over.

She stood straight, and her expression was calm and poised. Unnatural wind whipped her hair around her face, trying to weaken her subtly, but she did not budge. With eyes lustrous and determined, she raised her hands above her head and the Cosmos Crystal begin to whirl between her palms.

Sailor Cosmos closed her eyes, taking a deep, calming breath and whispering a heartfelt prayer. Her heart pounded against her ribcage. Then she opened her eyes, and they flashed ominously with lightening so bright that it blotted out her pupils. She smiled serenely at Chaos who immediately teleported away. It did not matter. Distance would not affect what she was about to do. With unconscious grace, Cosmos cupped her hands between the soft swell of her breasts, feeling her heartbeat pulsate directly beneath her hands like the beating of an angel's wings. There was a frozen, waiting instant where she stood there like a peaceful, beautiful statue.

Then, with a faint, mysterious smile still playing gently over her features, she intoned solemnly in a dulcet voice, "I have given my life to the light. Now I give my soul." Then she invoked the true name of her power, the most powerful, the most simplistic words, that she could speak. "Lambdas Power," she whispered.

Her heart exploded in her chest like a hot, bright star as every blinding particle of the Cosmos Crystal was released in a massive explosion. Her body melted away as her soul arched with the blast of pure light and good.

There was a piercing shriek like the wail of a banshee, a storm, a bonfire, as her crystal turned black, and the light spread, permeating the entire universe.

A/N: I will have an epilogue out within the week to explain exactly what just happened here at the end.


	4. Epilogue - The Stars Are Crying

**DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon and other characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi. None of these characters belong to me. ** 

Rating: PG

******************* 

"What is to give light must endure the burning."

~ Viktor E. Frankel ~

When Stars Cry

by: The Silver Princess

Epilogue

The fire licked over the logs, casting a flickering orange light over the entire room. Crystal vases gleamed with rainbow-surfaced facets, and silver roses glowed warmly, shimmering as though the petals were soft and supple rather than fashioned of hard metal. The carpet was thick and deep enough to muffle any footsteps, and the dark panels of smooth wood made him feel as though he were disconnected from the rest of the world here. There was something about this small room that drew him, day after day.

He sighed heavily, resting his forehead against his palms. Even after two years, his memories were still muddled and fragmented. His mind vaguely recalled a war, a resurgence of violence. He had visions of blood-splattered crystal and vacant red eyes. He was fairly certain that they had died, all of them, but he did not _know_, and he felt he would go crazy if he didn't figure it out soon.

*Papa? Pluto's here. She'd like to speak with you.* His daughter's mind-voice sounded distinctly distracted so he didn't bother to respond. It was only midmorning—she was most likely still in session listening to the complaints of her subjects. He felt a brief bittersweet pang as he pictured her, sitting regally atop her glistening stone of silver-inlaid diamond. She looked so like her mother, her beautiful face smiling and gentle, the golden tiara balanced lightly between her odangos. He was almost glad that her hair had stayed sunset-pink—he did not if he could bear to see her with shining silver locks.

He left quickly, eager to speak with Sailor Pluto. Since their confused, jumbled awakening two years earlier, he and she had been searching fervently for an explanation. 

How were they revived? They had simply woken, stiff and tired, in various places around Crystal Tokyo. He remembered opening his eyes to see a plane of such vibrant pure blue and thought that Usako was leaning over him. It was the sky, dazzling with its azure intensity. He had creaked to his feet and stared around him, trying to sort out his mind. The only thing that was clear was Usako. He had set out for the palace instinctively. He found his daughter wandering the halls, and soon all the senshi were reunited there.

What had ended the war? Any traces of violence had simply vanished, and the city, the entire world had been reconstructed and remade. It was as through the war had never happened. The gardens were fragrant and blooming. The streets were paved and clean. Buildings were rebuilt and strong. The world seemed to be as happy and as populous as before.

Why had their connection with the Silver Crystal been severed? They had retained some of their paltry powers as Senshi, but the font of power that was Usagi's Crystal no longer flowed through them. Chibi-usa ruled mostly through her strength of personality, and they were aging as normal. Already, Mamoru had silver streaks at his temples, and he could scarcely conjure the faintest power.

And most gut-wrenchingly important, where was Usako?

He ached to hold her again, to see her smile, to simply feel the presence of her soul connected to his. Where was she? She was the one who had stopped the war; he knew she was. So why wasn't she here? She might have died—intellectually he knew that, but if she had, she should have been reborn. Her soul would simply find a new body, and he would find her. Where was Usako?

His footsteps clicked smartly over the crystalline floor as he hurried to meet Pluto.

"Endymion-sama," Pluto greeted him solemnly as he swept through the door. She vanished her staff.

He smiled and embraced her. "Please, Setsuna. Call me Mamoru."

She nodded once, a slow dip of her head, her dark green hair sliding over her shoulders.

Worry twinged within his abdomen as they sat. Her eyes were garnet-bright, wet polished stones. "Setsuna, what have you discovered?" he asked anxiously.

She looked past him, her eyes unfocused and somber. Then she shook her head. "Mamoru-san, I managed to sift through the Timestream to track Serenity by plotting the times she used her Crystal, and I now have a rudimentary outline of what happened while we were . . . dead."

"Yes?"

"She became a senshi again. Sailor Cosmos, the protectress of the entire universe. She renamed her Crystal the Cosmos Crystal."

"Setsuna, you're stalling. Please, just tell me."

She clasped her hands tightly and stared down at her entwined fingers. "The Cosmos Crystal contained within it, the pure power of the Light, the most concentrated, the purest Good. Serenity was the embodiment of the Light, of Goodness—her soul was the only soul that could withstand the pure Light."

"Setsuna—"

"She was fighting Sailor Chaos, who was the most opposite—the sheerest Darkness and Evil. They were two extremes, and one could not exist without the other. In fact, neither could be destroyed."

Mamoru was breathing heavily. He did not like the way she spoke with such hopeless finality. "What did she do?"

"She sacrificed herself in the most complete way possible. She released every ray of goodness from the Crystal into the universe and healed the ravages Sailor Chaos had inflicted. This created a vacuum of power within the Crystal that essentially sucked Chaos into it, thus reversing the universe's balance—Evil is contained, and Good drifts free."

"That's wonderful, then. She defeated Chaos, trapping it. Why isn't she here?"

"She . . ." her voice broke for a moment, before she composed herself. "Serenity was the guardian of Good. Now she must guard Evil so that it cannot escape. Her soul is the only one strong enough to control the Chaos Crystal."

His fists were clenched so had that his fingers were tingling and going numb. He had a suspicion of what she was saying, but it couldn't be true. "What are you saying, Setsuna?"

"She's never coming back," she said with honest gentleness Her soul is never going to be reborn."

Someone was screaming and howling, a sound that reverberated through the palace. It was the sound of someone who had lost everything, whose soul had been ripped from his body. It was only when he realized Setsuna's arms were around him, retraining him that Mamoru realized it was he.

***

Usagi curled her ethereal soul around the tiny seed of Darkness, gently guiding it from the innocent planet it had been drifting towards. Fleecy clouds drifted over the mottled blue and green surface, and she realized sadly that it was Earth, her birthplace. She smiled softly, wishing that she could go to them. She could feel Mamoru's pain like a dull, insistent throb. But . . .

The Chaos Crystal roiled with inky viscosity, and she quickly quelled her desires and held it tighter. She concentrated and began to glide further and further from the solar system.

She was like a bright star, hiding a tiny pinprick of blackness. All around her the universe shone with light and gratitude, as the stars cried for the loss of the brightest soul.

This was her existence.

This was her eternity. 


End file.
